nearly midnight ramblings

Shaving - always good to have a sharp razor.

Life without A/C when you are used to it for the past few years is not always comfortable. Even though I grew up without it - we always had a nice breeze a blowing through the house. No breeze on Delaware. But we have the pool. A/C was fixed today.

The pool was *only* 84 degrees today :) Wonderful!

My daughter could talk forever if we let her. She may talk a bunch, but I am thankful she can speak.

Georgette Heyer is an fabulous Regency writer!

There are many strange people in the world with many strange tastes. But who am I to judge.

I think Scooby-doo is the smartest of the bunch. I've seen about every Scooby incarnation (several times, over and over and over and over), so I'm a pretty solid on my decision.

I have yet to come up empty handed on a Google search.

The CA freeway system makes for an interesting drive. Did you know wheelbarrows are commonplace on I-15? Or that is is apparently legal for motercycles to drive ON the white dotted lines, rather than in between them? I'll have to remember that for next time.

Entirely too wired...

It's almost 1:00 AM on Monday morning. Myself, Izzy and my Lovely Wife are camping in the Louisville Metro KOA campground. Not much of a campground more like a concrete jungle. Lisa and I were just talking about what 21st Century campers we are.

Currently in the camper we have: 2 Cell phones, 2 laptop computers (one is necessary for Lisa's job and the other is my toy). A TV with DVD/VHS player and DIRECTV, another portable DVD player, XM radio, Mini Video / digital camera, several DVDs the IPOD and 12 volt adapter and FM modulator and 3 remote controls. That's just the techie stuff.

We have shower, flushable toilet, fridge / freezer, stove, oven, and microwave. It's really quite sad how we camp. Oh yeah and Lisa just reminded we have a phone jack too.

OK Izzy is asleep and I'm tired too. Goodnight all... Oh yeah and if you need us just call the cell phone or send an email..... How sad is that??????????

What a Week!

The title of this entry is the UNDERSTATEMENT of the millenium! I'll start with Wednesday night cause that's when things went to hell in a handbasket.

First of all it appears I made quite the mistake thinking our "new" truck could tow 8000 pounds as the dealer told me it could. I found out quickly it is only rated for 6900 with a fifth wheel hitch. Still 900 pounds under the empty weight of our trailer but too close for my liking.

So we go to pick up the trailer on Wednesday, get our walk through to learn all the operating of it and hook up and we're on the 20 mile trip back home. After some help we finally get the thing backed into the driveway. It was a total fiasco and I'm sure anyone watching was quite amused by the whole ordeal. This however is not the funny part. We forgot to set the pins in the legs all the way and the trailer dropped off and just tapped the hitch. Somehow the one pin held up and kept the trailer from hitting the truck bed and tearing the tailgate off. No damage to the trailer and we get a jack from my dad's van and a concrete block and jack the thing up enough to get it back on the hitch until we can get both pins set. WHHHHHEWWWWW! Avoided disaster #1 with flying colors. Disaster #2 we were not so lucky with.

We unhook the truck and pull it up and start to set up the camper. Pulling out the slide and leveling and yada yada yada everything that goes with it. The trailer is awesome and everything in it is really nice. Sometimes I think I might like to move into it. Just kidding but it is really nice. Tonight we kind of hung out in it just testing it out. But anyway back to disaster #2. Lisa decides she is hungry so I decide to go to Taco Bell. At this point it is 9:00 or so on Wednesday night. I get in the "new" truck and the transmission will not shift out of second gear. We towed 6000 pounds for 25 miles at 50 to 55 mph and the tranny is completely screwed. Long story short I go the dealer and let him know my "new" truck with 700 miles on it has a SCREWED transmission. They take it to service and I have quickly decided I do not want this truck as it is WAY too close to the towing capacity. Granted the thing should not have FRIED the tranny but it did. Maybe it was a fluke but it's not a chance I'm willing to take when it's my family we're talking about here.

So I have a 1500 Silverado with a fried transmission. I start to look at the 2500HD's that are a good bit more than the 1500's. I tell my salesman to work me up a deal and he lets me know they will have to take the thing in as used even though it's got 700 miles on it. Yeah we've had it a week and we traded the thing off. We took a decent hit but it really didn't turn out that bad as far as being upside down. Now they did give me the 2500 truck at invoice instead of just under sticker. So I got invoice price, all the rebates and just a touch over the payment we had before and we have a whole lot more truck. Instead of the non-existent options on the 1500 we now have a loaded 2500 HD. We have a truck that will DEFINITELY tow the trailer without any problems. One major drawback: THE GAS MILEAGE BLOWS CHUNKS. If I was looking for gas mileage though I wouldn't have bought this truck. I was looking for a vehicle that would tow what I have safely and surely.

SO that was my crazy week and I haven't even mentioned tomorrow is Isabella's birthday, Sunday is Mother's Day and Mom and Pop McIntee are coming to visit tomorrow.

I rarely drink but when this week is over I think I'll sit down and have an ice cold beer or something.

Later guys and gals!

The DSL is running particularly slooooowwww tonight... Just got back from a couple hours of cards. Played from about 8:30 to 10 and made 90 bucks. Game wasn't the greatest so I left. Funny thing how when it's not near as much fun as it used to be 90 bucks seems like a lot of money. A few months ago 90 bucks wouldnt have made me consider quitting for the night... I'm just not near as interested as I used to be. It seems RV shows have replaced poker shows for me. It's probably a good thing. Don't get me wrong I still enjoy it but it's just not the same as it used to be.

We're picking up our NEW trailer tomorrow. We went looking at them again last Sunday and I just asked the guy if he would consider selling the one we ordered when it comes in and us taking one of his lot. He didn't mind that at all and of course he just happened to have a nice 5th wheel that came in at 6000 pounds. Plenty below our towing weight for the new Chevy... It's right around the same price so we TOOK IT. He's fixing it up and we get it tomorrow after I get off work. Can't wait here...

It's a SalemLE 24 footer. The link to the floor plan is here.

Izzy is really excited about her birthday and everyone coming down... They'll all get to see the new beast this weekend...

Now our "trailer trash" friends will be able to rest a little easier.... Teeheehee!

NEW STUFF

OK friends, Romans, countrymen I'm trying something new here. In my last post I told you about our travel trailer and one of our friends made the lovely comment "woo hoo now I have friends who are trailer trash". We're not moving into the thing for good we will still have our home dear. I suppose she was joking in her sarcastic, witty, banter. Either way I'm sure she will spend a night or 50 in the thing before she moves to the next world. Ahh yes vacations in a trailer (whose idea was this anyway)?

Just kidding I'm really looking forward to it myself. I truly can't wait for the thing to get built and get here. Well it seems that the Ford Ranger was going to be a little stressed pulling this thing. So we decided to take the plunge again. We basically lost what we paid on the Ranger and purchased a new truck. OK get ready for this:::: We bought a Chevy. SHHHHHHH.... Don't tell anyone and maybe no one will find out I bought a Chevy product... Oh well it's too late everyone at work saw it and Heaven knows when those little busybody cops find out about it EVERYONE knows.

I scanned the sticker and I'm going to try to link to it using our new SBC DSL "briefcase." So, here goes nothing.

(NOTE: Link removed because Lisa got tired of not seeing the sidebar. And besides, we don't have that particular truck anymore... so it doesn't matter anyway.)
OK that seemed to work out fairly decently.. Just so you know if you want to get a better look at the image you can right click it and left click "view image. This will take you to a new page with nothing but the enlarged image. After you view the "specs" of the new truck you can left click your back button on your broswer to get back to the blog.

Sorry for the web tutorial but I don't know exactly who is reading and this and how much knowledge they have. Anyway that's our new truck. We kept the payment at about 30 bucks more a month moved up to the bigger truck and just basically lost what we had paid on the Ranger. Always going to have a truck payment anyway so really doesn't make much difference.

A lot of new stuff here on Delaware. Pool should be opening soon too. We're here waiting for summer.

DISABLE THE CABLE BAYYYYBEEEE

It's Sunday afternoon... I came home from work and managed to get the SBC DSL working with the router in about 15 minutes after messing with it for 4 1/2 hours the other night to no avail. So, now we have DSL at 26.99 a month and DIRECTV satellite TV at 50 bucks a month... This is opposed to Adelphia cable TV and internet which was setting us back 120 / month.... CHA CHING saving about 43 bucks right there plus I just cancelled the cell phones that were costing 100 or more....... CHA CHING again... Just paid for my monthly travel trailer payment... For those of you in the dark about this last week we ordered a 22 foot Flagstaff trailer with a 3300 pound dry weight... Well under the 5800 Ford says we can tow with the Ranger... Plus I was talking to a guy at work today who told me we have a Reese hitch (news to me). I guess this means it's better for towing and it means I have a towing package on the truck which means it's not necessary to buy all the transmission coolers and temp guages which i thought i would need... All comes as part of the tow package... You can see a link to the floor plan of the trailer we bought here

OUR TRAILER

Lisa and Izzy are getting ready... I think we may be going to BW3 but I'm not sure... The reason I had a spare minute to write is because they were in the shower.... Now they're out and it's chaos.... Viva Las Vegas and We Are The Dinosaurs blaring in my ear from the Itunes.....

INSANITY IS KICKING IN.....................

PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just kidding.... By the way if you folks don't have Apple's Itunes you are REALLY REALLY missing out... Especially if you have quite a bit of music... We're just short of 7000 songs so with that you need something to help catalog and keep them under control....

"If I wind up broke I'll always remember I had a swinging time." VIVA LAS VEGAS

The girls are ready... I gotta go get ready....

Lola, part 2

Have to respond to the comments...

To b.... it probably took me a while because it came out when I was -4 (that's negative 4) I don't remember much... and besides --- it takes me a while to get things...


To Design Goddess... I think this is the LOLA you speak of.... read the lyrics, and then read the little note at the bottom... this song for wedding receptions? It's a break up song!!!!!


Have to make this short -- Izzy has a blister.... major trauma.... must attend to her every need in this time of crisis.

Lola

I have about 20 minutes left until my brownies are done (new recipe - we'll see how they turn out. - Actually, I don't really care how they turn out - I was just craving the brownie batter)

Anyway - This will give me just enough time to relate my thoughts on a song I heard the other day. Lola - by the Kinks. You know the one... catchy tune... lots of lo-lo -la- la - la's in it.... I can remember singing this song when I was little - just be-bopping around singing the chorus. (It took me a while to remember the verses) Well, since the song was on the radio, I was in the car or something - I had time to listen to the lyrics. First verse -

I met her in a club down in old soho
Where you drink champagne and it tastes just like cherry-cola [lp version:
Coca-cola]
C-o-l-a cola
She walked up to me and she asked me to dance
I asked her her name and in a dark brown voice she said lola
L-o-l-a lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola

So far.. not bad, I'm bee-boppin' along in my car, singing along... Guy at a party - meets a chick with distinct voice and then I hear the next part...

Well I’m not the world’s most physical guy
But when she squeezed me tight she nearly broke my spine
Oh my lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola
Well I’m not dumb but I can’t understand
Why she walked like a woman and talked like a man
Oh my lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola

OK - she likes it a little rough... maybe a fan of pro-wrestling... the storyteller doesn't think much about it...

Well we drank champagne and danced all night
Under electric candlelight
(Picture cheesy 70's chandelier here)
She picked me up and sat me on her knee
And said dear boy won’t you come home with me
Well I’m not the world’s most passionate guy
But when I looked in her eyes well I almost fell for my lola
Lo-lo-lo-lo lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola
Lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola

How sweet - love at first sight!

Sometimes, (Just ask my hubby and friends ) it takes me a while to get things.... Denise Russel at Tear-E'Z, anyone?

I pushed her away
I walked to the door
I fell to the floor
I got down on my knees
Then I looked at her and she at me

Well that’s the way that I want it to stay
And I always want it to be that way for my lola
Lo-lo-lo-lo lola
Girls will be boys and boys will be girls

WHHAATTT!!! Lola's a MAN????? How did I miss that one! I about ran off the road when I heard this... wishing I had a TIVO for the car radio, so I could rewind and hear that again.

It’s a mixed up muddled up shook up world except for lola

You got that right, bucko!

Lo-lo-lo-lo lola

Well I left home just a week before
And I’d never ever kissed a woman before
But lola smiled and took me by the hand
And said dear boy I’m gonna make you a man

Well I’m not the world’s most masculine man
But I know what I am and I’m glad I’m a man

So, does this last line mean the singer is now a tranny, too?

And so is lola
Lo-lo-lo-lo lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola
Lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola

I just may have to take a closer look at Weird Al's YODA - to see what ol' big ears is up to!

Oy! My brownies are done!

Go BO!

Tonight, I's watching American Idol. I'm rooting for Bo Bice -- gotta love his hair. He's a rockin' singer. The first time I saw him, he sang Allman Bros "Whipping Post" -Gotta love that. Anyway - he's got good stage presence, a great voice, and did I mention the hair? Tonight he sang the Skynyrd classic - "Freebird" Not an easy song for anyone to sing (Just ask Will to Power). But I thought his singing was great. The backup band however - not equipped for this song... so I fear the worst for Bo, even though he is a great singer.

For other songs of 1989 Click here


Bust a move....

Coincidence????

The Pope is now on a feeding tube.

I just need 1 person who can explain this....

This morning, like many mornings, I listen to the Glenn Beck program. He brought this story to light. Apparently, last night, CBS news had posted on its website an article about Terri Shiavo and her passing. As I write this blog, she is still alive. Why would CBS fabricate such a story?

I can somewhat understand getting the background info ready, and fill in the rest later. But to include "Michael Schiavo, who was at the bedside of his wife Terri when she died, told Larry King that he lives now with another woman with whom he has two children." Come on, people - that is just wrong - I don't care what side of the issue you are on. For a "respectable" news outlet to be so irresponsible (nevermind the whole Dan Rather thing) and report on future events, is not reporting the news. It is spouting your own views, your own beliefs about a topic, and presenting them as facts.

I really doubt that Michael Shiavo will be at her bedside - he's probably too busy with his woman and two children. (Who technially are bastards, but we won't get into that.)

So here is my challenge... I want to hear from at least one person who can provide a plausible reason why CBS would post such a story before the event. Does this not make you think twice about where your news comes from? Lesson: get your news from more than one source! (and I really hope it isn't CBS.)

Keep praying for Terri and her family!

Who needs bon bons when you have Carmel Hershey Kisses

The housewife... is that what I am? YES... and I love it. And after all this time of having feelings of guilt for wanting to stay home and raise my daughter, I find out I am not alone.

Now, I did grow up as a latchkey kid (do they still have those anymore?) with a working mom and dad, and am I hurt by it? No. If anything, I learned the value of working hard and providing for your family. I also learned that every moment we spend with our kids is precious, and not to be wasted. I had fun as a kid, but it is even better when you have one of your own. (Even though there are many times you find yourself wanting to say "Not now..." you can't say those words to your kids... It's not good, and I really really try not to. (and it is very hard not to, when I am working - that's a guilt trip for another day!)

I love staying home and playing with my daughter. I love making messes on the kitchen table with paint and other crafts.

Ok - I don't love the cleaning up part, but I'm getting better at it. One reason, Aggie and Kim, they make cleaning the house interesting (love the gloves) and also show me that I am not as messy as some (ahem) would think. If I could walk in high heels, I probably would while I clean the house, but I have comfy slippers instead. I only have one set of good pearls so wearing those are out (besides, they would really clash with my Rick Springfield shirt.)

Desperate Housewife? I've only seen about 10 minutes too much of that show, and it was ridiculous. But I did catch the Oprah version of DH, and let me tell you - there are some strange people out there. But am I desperate? I don't think so... well, only when I don't get to watch Days everyday. (Can you believe Bo? He is such a moron when it comes to Billie)

I don't want to be a perfect domestic diva, making everything from scratch (even though I like to think I can in my head). I just want to have fun with my family, take care of my family and house, and be happy with who I am. I may not leave the house everyday for my job, but my life is my job. (So sometimes, this means that , I go without bathing for a day or two -OK 3 - but that's only if I forget what day it is.)

Thank you to all of the hard working ladies who broke through the glass ceiling and proved to everyone that women CAN succeed in the career world; for showing that women can attend colleges for more than just finding a husband; for bringing wonderful ideas about flexible child care and the family leave act to reality. Without the foremothers who struggled with tough decisions only a working women can understand, I wouldn't have the flexibility I do today to work from home, take care of a family and raise a child. I love what I do.

Now where are my Bon-Bons?

Lifeless visiting

Yeah! I have a friend. She is visiting! How cool is that. Even though I had to drag her downtown to and force her to do her homework, she still stayed! It was very cold today, well, after it warmed up, and then after it rained, and warmed up again - it was cold. Cutie Adam J on WSAZ said it was going to be cold. We may not like the weather, but we like Adam.

For some reason today felt like Saturday. But it's only Friday - so that is good. I did pick out my Easter outfit today from Value City. Dear Hubby hasn't seen the bill yet, but most of it was clothes for our girl, so it was worth it. All 500.00 of it. (Just kidding.)

Just hanging around the house now... maybe something will happen.


Keep praying for Terri.

Just in Case...

Unless you've been living in a vacuum lately, you have probably heard about Terry Shiavo. The woman who is brain-damaged. Who is now STARVING TO DEATH (Here's a real life Survivor, Mark Burnett) Who has a husband who says she wants to die (oh yeah, he "remembered" this 7 years after she was in the state she is in, and after he wanted to marry the woman who carried his two kids while Terri was in a hospital bed with no therapy and after he got the settlement to care for her) Watch the videos on www.terrisfight.org and see for yourself if this is a person who is in a coma.

There are so many inconsistencies with this case - it boggles the mind. I really hope Congress and the President can come through tonight and at least grant this woman the same rights that Scott Peterson is going to get - a federal review of her case. If they decide the same thing as Judge Greer - then so be it. But at least it will give her a fair chance.

With that said - Dear Hubby and I were talking about what would happen if we were in a similar situation. I do value life. I value my own life. I don't want to be a burden on my family. It's a tough call. Do I want doctors to take extreme measures? Do I want to be hooked up to machines? I'm still researching all that entails. I do want to live. I want to be given a fair shot. But do I have a DNR order in place (watching ER really helps explain this stuff) no. Shoud I? Or a DNK (do not kill) order in place? No. Like I said - I need to investigate what each entails, not so much for me, but for my family.

So here is my temporary plan - And I have told Chad this, so if it worked for Michael Scumbag Shiavo, Chad should have no problem getting the doctors to agree to this - that if I ever end up on a feeding tube, I want Frish's Big Boys (no lettuce) pumped into me every now and then. The fries with butter from Heggy's on West Tusc would be great as well. If LifelessID could whip up one of our Whopper drinks, that would certainly make things go a little better. Oh, and chocolate. Any kind but white chocolate would be good.

I also want music playing, the TV going - especially when DOOL is on, or CSI or Matlock is on - and book on tape/CD. Play those for me.

I'm still thinking of what it would be like to be in Terri's postition. I have been praying for her. I hope you do the same.

L

Free School

I saw this on the news - this is a horrible abuse of our educational system.

Free School? Fox news
(Its a video segment, you may have to look for it under a side bar or something)

Am I dening the right to an education in the US? Absolutely not!

Am I questionioning whether it is right? Yes I am.

How can we expect the students (legal or illegal) to perform well? For teachers to do their job and TEACH, when they are faced with so many problems in the classroom? How can a school district allow such actions to happen? The testing results alone (ohhh, let's bow to the almighty TESTS) should be enough for the district to wake up and take a look.

It's not like these students are coming over from one district to play sports in a different district (where the money would follow the student) In this case, they are totally freeloading and abusing the Public school system. Unless of course the busload of students being picked up at the border to go to school in the US are from American taxpaying people(by that I mean paying taxes in America, not necessarily American citizens- have to explain my PC lingo), who are kicking in money to the school district through their taxes.

What can be done? I don't know - perhaps a transitional school that is funded by the illegals and the state until the students are ready to attend public school. Here they could learn English in a least restrictive environment, they could also learn Math, history and the other necessary subjects, such as CITENZENSHIP. The illegal students would not be hampered by students who live in the district, and can understand the teacher. The district students who have a right to an education in the least restrictive enviornment would not have to wait for the teacher to translate everything into other languages, and can move at a pace best suited for the class. Oh wait, this would be tracking the kids, and that could be bad.

As an educator, this report makes me so mad (not the reporter or anything - just what the report is about.)

I'll wait to hear the other side before I say any more.

L

Fried Brain

I was just reading over my last post and realized I used ensure when I shouldve used assure in one sentence. Sometimes my brain is fried. Probably just too much Cat In The Hat or something.

Oh yes kind and gentle reader we here on Delaware have managed to Tivo "The Cat In The Hat" with Mike Meyers or whatever his name is. The guy from Austin Powers. Just as I thought would happen my darling Isabella wants to watch this god awful piece of cinematic drivel 45 fricking times a day. She makes jokes and calls it Rat In The Hat and oh how right she is. The highlight of the film would be when the real estate agent Mr. Humberfloob (played by one of the homosexuals on Will & Grace) is introducing one of the new employees who shakes his hand. Mr. Humberfloob is obviously a littlle on the OCD side and he tells him he is FIIIIIIIRRRRRRRREEEEEDDDDDDD as he squirts his hand with about a pound and a half of hand sanitizer. Yes ladies and gents that is the highlight of the movie. Well that and seeing Alec Baldwin covered in purple paint. It is a kid's movie but so was Old Yeller and that was a freaking classic. I guess they just don't make movies like they used to.

So it's 8:44 am and I should be playing some online poker but like our Lifeless ID student
I'm procrastinating and not really in the mood. It's not like it's a job or anything I have to do like a freaking DESIGN PROJECT!!!! She did make the deadline. Maybe soon we could hear the grade she received? She seems a little too busy for that as there are stories of perverted boys lifting girls skirts and other stuff to blog about. Fine by me, I love those stories. I like to look at Lisa's old yearbooks and stuff. I was looking at some pictures the other day of her high school days and she was like way hot. She says none of the guys thought so but more than likely they were intimidated by her. She's not exactly shy and I'm sure she never was. Lucky for me I found her and the rest is HIS TOR Y.

OK I've blogged myself silly now so gotta go fishing on Party Poker.

Oh yeah and I just heard that Ironton may have to play Jason's high school in the state basketball finals if they both make it... That should be fun win or lose...........

I Love Lawrence County!

Pre-Owned Beaver Lick Road

As Larry The Cable Guy would say: "That's funny I don't care who you are."

I was thinking today (yes somedays I actually do that) and I realized something. More and more of the so-called good neighborhoods in this area are being taken over by a new generation of people. This obviously brings about changes in the area. Changes such as big Ohio University Super Bus Trailer things being parked out in front of your house and other eyesores like two story garages being built less than 50 feet from your own front door on someone else's property.

So I've come to the conclusion that you can't beat them so why not join them. This summer in the front yard we will have a bird bath (not too bad, can be rather nice looking), some pink flamingos ( the appitamy of white trash) and are you ready for this one THE LAWN GNOME. Yes ladies and gentlemen here on Delaware we are moving right up the ladder and joining the masses.

I called off work this morning because I was hacking up gold gunk. I was sick to my stomach and just basically felt like I have that "bronchiitis / cold / flu" that has been passed around for weeks now. One sick day won't kill me and it's not like I have anything to catch up on when I get back. I think that is part of the problem with my job. #1 I don't enjoy it and # 2 I don't really have any responsibility other than people on the road. It's terribly boring. When I worked at the PD there was always something exciting going on. Fights, People arguing with pizza places that there were "twigs" in their cheesesticks you know typical Southern Ohio arguing.

I guess I need to go ahead and relay the twigs in the cheese stick thing for those of you who are not familiar. I had been working with my current employer for about a year maybe two and I was really missing the old workplace so I went to the old one just to hang out for a few minutes. Well to make a long story short things got a little busy and I end up taking a call that went a little something like this:

Me: Ironton Police can I help you?

Female Caller: Yes, I have twigs in my Giovanni's cheese sticks.

Me: Excuse me, could you repeat that please?

Female Caller: Yes, I have TWIGS IN MY GIOVANNI'S CHEESESTICKS!

Me: OK, maam and your reason for thinking this is a police matter would be what?

Female Caller: I demanded my money back and the driver came but he won't give me my money unless I give him back the cheesesticks.

Me: OK, so what's the problem give him the cheesesticks and

Female Caller: (interrupting me) The F*&@ing driver says he's going to have me F*&@ing arrested if I don't give him the F*%@ing cheeseticks. Can he do that?

Me: No maam, I can ensure you that no one will come arrest you if you don't give up the sticks. However if you would like to have your money back you're going to have to give him the cheeseticks.

Female Caller: NO F$%@ing way. I'm turning them into the health department in the morning and they are going to give me my F%@*ing money back.

Me: OK MAAM! IF YOU WANT YOU'RE MONEY GIVE HIM BACK THE CHEESESTICKS OTHERWISE KEEP THEM AND DO WHATEVER YOU WANT BUT THIS IS NOT A POLICE MATTER AND DON'T WASTE MY TIME AND YOURS WITH SOMETHING THIS IDIOTIC!

Female Caller: OK I'll give them back since you guys won't do anything. F*#@ing PIGS!

This is why I love Lawrence County. It's my favorite dispatching story of all the ones I have. This is the creme de la creme of dispatch stories. No other dispatcher in the world could have a story of a person this stupid and if they do I want to read it. I'm positive things like this only happen in Lawrence County.

OK that's all for now hope everyone had a chuckle.

How to Name Roads in Lawrence County

I was driving back from Chillicothe the other day (Monday and Tuesday - lovely trip!) Anyway - I had plenty of time to gaze at the road signs and ponder on the naming conventions. It seems that most road names can be broken down into three parts; a fun adjective, some type of animal or meat product and a descriptor.

Now you can create your own road name. Simply choose one name from each column and viola, you have your Southern Ohio Road Name!

Fun Adjective

• Greasy
• Slippery
• Purple
• Scooping
• Camp
• Old
• New
• Pre-Owned
• Pretty
• Scooby

Meat/Animal product

• Venision
• Pork
• Tenderloin
• Beaver
• Ostrich
• Possum
• Snipe
• Monkey
• Chuck Roast
• Ham
• Racoon

Descriptor

• Creek
• Lick
• Fork
• Lake
• Stone
  
• Branch
• Short
• Ridge
• Fountain
• Bottle-Neck

For the record, some legitimate Lawrence County Road names:

Venison Ham Camp
Greasy Ridge
Porter Gap
Lick Creek Road (Yes, this all comes from the third column)
Charley Creek

I'll list more once I find my county map.

InOutSideSideInOn

Chad and I were reminiscing tonight, about the good ol'days. We were talking about the playground (It's not important on how we got with this topic, just go with me. ) He was very surpirsed to hear about our playground situation. And when you think of it, it probably explains a lot about who I am today, or was, way back when I was single. I mean, it's proably the sole reason why I didn't get any dates.

We had a parking lot. It was a church/school parking lot, behind the school. On the left, the boys. They had a basketball hoop. They had a building to play dodge ball against. The same building acted as a nice buffer when the winds kicked up, as they do in NE Ohio.

The girls' side was, well, bland. There was a nice dip in the far corner by the light post that made a great base for tag (more on that in a bit) . There was a good sized round patch of blacktop, mid way down the side which also made a good base. Oh, and we did have a piller about three feet high, to keep the cars from running over the bushes, that made a great leg for Chinese Jump Rope (inoutsidesideinon) But no basketball hoop. Nothing but chain link to buffer the wind from our bare legs. (OK we did have leg warmers, which looked pretty stylish with our plaid uniforms - and yes, that uniform below was the one we wore sans tie, and yes, I did have a pair of red and white leg warmers - my favorite pair)

Where was I going with this? Oh, yeah - the boys. The boys weren't allowed to cross the LINE from one side of the parking lot to the other. Neither were the girls. During my formative years, I never really played with boys at school, and therefore didn't really know how to act with them later on. Now, we did have gym class where we did play with the boys, whenever they deemed us important enough to add to their team (that, and they were forced to by the gym teacher) so no, I never really "hung out at the playground" with boys. No wonder my life was wacky for a while.

I did promise more on tag. Seeing as how we didn't have a basketball on our side, and you could only jump rope so many times, we were rather inventive with our games. Some of our favorities:

• Smurf tag (Evil Gargamel was out to capture the smurfs)
  
• The Jacksons - we would act out the life of the Jacksons. (I think I was alway Tito, but that's another story.)
  
• Witch in the Well (Ok we didn't invent this one, but it was cool to run down the line of upturned hands and smack the ones belonging to the people who were mean to you that day.)
  
• Colored Eggs - somehow we always found a way to work in "That's just Grandpa flushing his teeth down the drain again"
• Line crack tag
  

Line crack tag was probably the most inventive. No, we were not shooting up on the playground. Again, since we had nothing but a blacktopped parking lot to play on... this worked extremely well. The person who was "IT" had to only stay on the lines - the painted lines for the cars. Everyone else could go on a line or a crack. Too bad for you if you got stuck on a crack that ended in the middle of a square of lines.

Fun was had by all.

Wow. It's a wonder I am still sane!


Our Uniform: I even wore the Peter Pan coller!