I Love Lawrence County!

Pre-Owned Beaver Lick Road

As Larry The Cable Guy would say: "That's funny I don't care who you are."

I was thinking today (yes somedays I actually do that) and I realized something. More and more of the so-called good neighborhoods in this area are being taken over by a new generation of people. This obviously brings about changes in the area. Changes such as big Ohio University Super Bus Trailer things being parked out in front of your house and other eyesores like two story garages being built less than 50 feet from your own front door on someone else's property.

So I've come to the conclusion that you can't beat them so why not join them. This summer in the front yard we will have a bird bath (not too bad, can be rather nice looking), some pink flamingos ( the appitamy of white trash) and are you ready for this one THE LAWN GNOME. Yes ladies and gentlemen here on Delaware we are moving right up the ladder and joining the masses.

I called off work this morning because I was hacking up gold gunk. I was sick to my stomach and just basically felt like I have that "bronchiitis / cold / flu" that has been passed around for weeks now. One sick day won't kill me and it's not like I have anything to catch up on when I get back. I think that is part of the problem with my job. #1 I don't enjoy it and # 2 I don't really have any responsibility other than people on the road. It's terribly boring. When I worked at the PD there was always something exciting going on. Fights, People arguing with pizza places that there were "twigs" in their cheesesticks you know typical Southern Ohio arguing.

I guess I need to go ahead and relay the twigs in the cheese stick thing for those of you who are not familiar. I had been working with my current employer for about a year maybe two and I was really missing the old workplace so I went to the old one just to hang out for a few minutes. Well to make a long story short things got a little busy and I end up taking a call that went a little something like this:

Me: Ironton Police can I help you?

Female Caller: Yes, I have twigs in my Giovanni's cheese sticks.

Me: Excuse me, could you repeat that please?

Female Caller: Yes, I have TWIGS IN MY GIOVANNI'S CHEESESTICKS!

Me: OK, maam and your reason for thinking this is a police matter would be what?

Female Caller: I demanded my money back and the driver came but he won't give me my money unless I give him back the cheesesticks.

Me: OK, so what's the problem give him the cheesesticks and

Female Caller: (interrupting me) The F*&@ing driver says he's going to have me F*&@ing arrested if I don't give him the F*%@ing cheeseticks. Can he do that?

Me: No maam, I can ensure you that no one will come arrest you if you don't give up the sticks. However if you would like to have your money back you're going to have to give him the cheeseticks.

Female Caller: NO F$%@ing way. I'm turning them into the health department in the morning and they are going to give me my F%@*ing money back.

Me: OK MAAM! IF YOU WANT YOU'RE MONEY GIVE HIM BACK THE CHEESESTICKS OTHERWISE KEEP THEM AND DO WHATEVER YOU WANT BUT THIS IS NOT A POLICE MATTER AND DON'T WASTE MY TIME AND YOURS WITH SOMETHING THIS IDIOTIC!

Female Caller: OK I'll give them back since you guys won't do anything. F*#@ing PIGS!

This is why I love Lawrence County. It's my favorite dispatching story of all the ones I have. This is the creme de la creme of dispatch stories. No other dispatcher in the world could have a story of a person this stupid and if they do I want to read it. I'm positive things like this only happen in Lawrence County.

OK that's all for now hope everyone had a chuckle.